Wednesdays with Chris –
Reflection on a Peer Learning Grant
At first, it was hard to believe. For some of us, the idea of reading books, watching movies, and then discussing our impressions over lunch seemed too good to be true. This, however, was the project we chose for our grant from the Sustaining Pastoral Excellence project of the Christian Reformed Church.
Under our denomination’s SPE program, pastors are encouraged to form a small peer group whose members commit to meet together to work on something that will enrich themselves in their calling. Clearly, this leaves much latitude for creativity.
Members of our group—called the “Culture Critics”—each acknowledged that our commitment to parish ministry often left us a bit in the dark when it came to popular media. Many noted that if we walk into the local video store, we often know nothing about the movies in the “new releases” section. At first glance that might sound admirable. Yet, each pastor in our group knows that we minister in a culture immersed in images and storylines that are foreign to us. Our grant was about gaining some fluency with the images and vocabulary of that culture. We sought to not only learn from it, but to better learn how to speak within it.
More than Lunch
For nine months, five pastors gathered on the first Wednesday of the month around a dimly lit table in the balcony of the Boar’s Head in downtown Grand Rapids, Michigan. The Boar’s Head is a cloth-napkin variety restaurant with a casual elegance. In most of our gatherings, we found ourselves surrounded by other professionals doing business lunches. More than once these men and women stopped their discussions to listen to ours. As we became more familiar with one another and our friendships grew, we found ourselves looking forward to our meetings and seeing what insights each of us would bring to our discussions.
Cameos
At our first meeting, we invited William Romanowski to join us for lunch and a discussion of pop culture trends. A professor of communication arts and sciences at Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Romanowski is passionate about movies and has conducted extensive research about the intersection of American Christianity and popular art and culture. For him images on the silver screen are icons of a culture that when opened, reveal a culture adrift in its search for meaning. Occasionally, these images capture something deeply transcendent into which many can connect. Our lunch with Romanowski was a great beginning in thinking about the culture of popular media.
On another occasion, we watched the movie “Brokeback Mountain” and invited a colleague who is gay to join us. Our other ventures included watching episodes of the television show “Lost” and reading John Grisham’s “An Innocent Man.” The group also watched and reflected on movies such as “Pirates of the Caribbean” and the popular children’s movie “Over the Hedge”.
These lunchtime gatherings became occasions for growth in friendships, a widening of our understanding, and a deepening in respect for perspectives other than one’s own. Monthly, we found ourselves grateful to our “abstract” benefactor named “Lilly” who continued to not only fund our gatherings, but give us a reason to gather as colleagues. Oddly, in some ways, all these details seem like background to what has become a center point in our monthly gatherings.
Chris: Our High Priest of Pop-Culture
Our server that first Wednesday was Chris. Chris is an early thirty-something man; he is stocky, wears trendy black glasses, has jet black curly hair, and is as gregarious as one could possibly imagine. Chris talks with his hands, is extremely expressive, and speaks in a voice that carries two to three tables away. In many respects, he is the ideal server; he is spunky, fresh, engaging, and eager to please.
It did not take long for us to recognize that entertainment media and pop culture are Chris’ passion. Chris speaks of movie storylines and texts the same way preachers often speak about their texts that form and give shape to life. If ever there was a game show that features pop-culture trivia (and I am naïve enough to be unable to name one), I would expect Chris to either be its champion or host.
Given Chris’ entertainment media savvy, it did not take him long to dial in to what our group was about. As soon as Chris saw our “Lost” DVD packages, he quickly moved from passionate server to engaged conversationalist.
I suppose if you were hoping to dine alone, Chris’ presence and regular insertion into our conversation might have been surprising, or perhaps, unwelcome. Our group however, was about dialoguing with culture to the end of deeper learning. Who better to “text” us than one of that culture’s experts? Chris quickly became one who not only resourced us in terms of themes and titles, but who also put a face on both the consumers and creators of this media.
For us, these conversations with Chris gave us valuable insights, many of which would have otherwise been beyond our own reach. Chris’ ability to give us background information and to integrate these themes into the popular culture was very helpful. Sometimes, it was his intensity and enthusiasm that was instructive for us. Often, it seemed as though we were keeping Chris from his other customers—but Chris loved it! Like any other enthusiastic preacher, when Chris was done engaging, he often had to re-tuck his white dress shirt before moving onto the next table.
Mutual respect, mutual appreciation
Perhaps the most meaningful aspect of these encounters with Chris was the mutual respect and appreciation we had for each other. Chris shared with us that he grew up Roman Catholic and, as a result, had a natural familiarity and respect for institutions and representatives of “religion” —as he called it. It was often important to him to let us know that he “believed in God” and that there were “basic truths that are valuable in all religions.”
Instead of either arguing with or evangelizing Chris, we chose to befriend him and sought to learn from him. As time passed, Chris’ openness with us and his obvious enjoyment of engaging with us grew into a mutual cherishing. On the day we told him we were going to watch Brokeback Mountain, Chris’ eyes widened and his face lit up.
“Wow,” he said. “I never imagined ministers doing this kind of thing. I’m proud of you guys.”
His words were instructive. We valued his affirmation but we were saddened that he thought such a film would be “off-limits” to Christians or clergy.
Somehow, Chris lost contact with the Church; in some ways, the Church lost connection with Chris. For me, these noon lunches where Chris was guest and host were places that the two worlds of Church and culture were once again intersecting.
The Next Step
Over time it seemed as though our server was an integral part of our meetings. One time when Chris was not our waiter, we all recognized how much we valued his input. On that day we decided that we needed to take things to another level with him. We invited Chris and a few of his friends to pick a film to watch and discuss with us over lunch. Chris was excitedly agreeable. The following month, we watched the film “The Departed” and chose a lunch location other than his place of work. To our surprise, Chris brought two friends from work, both of whom were women. The dialogue that took place at that table was probably one of the most engaging we had throughout our study grant.
Impressions
Movies, books, and media leave all kinds of images on the mind. Conversations with peers open up new levels of respect and understanding. Perhaps though, the most important learnings of this grant project were not a result of the two-dimensional images that appear on a screen. The most important learnings came through conversation, friendship, and mutual hospitality.
After nearly a year of gathering over lunch, the most significant impression left on our souls was not a line from a book or a story from a movie. What remains is a picture and a personality of one of God’s image bearers who—with us—is in a restless pursuit of questions. Although we use different texts to ask and answer these questions, we found ourselves at an unexpected but welcome intersection.
Our receptivity to one another seemed to open a door for us. We find ourselves grateful to SPE and Lilly for the learnings over lunch, but we also find ourselves grateful to God for Chris. If movies and books have the power to reshape our imaginations, I have learned anew what happens to us through direct encounter with one another.
I am excited to think about what changes may come in Chris’ life because he met five pastors who welcomed learning from him. I am also eager to think about the ways a server will continue to linger in my imagination because of our Wednesdays with Chris.
The Rev. Marc Nelesen is pastor of Georgetown Christian Reformed Church in Hudsonville, Mich. An earlier version of this article was originally published in the November 5, 2007, issue of the Christian Courier.
